She hot, she bad, she stole my hat.  Why do ALL the women who I sleep with want to somehow hold on to me.  Even when it's over they still want something.  Thank god they are just stealing my hats and not hitting me up for palimony.  Snoop Dog ain't got nothing on the John Dog.  There's more than one definition of "duet".  At one time Beyounce and I had something really beautiful.  Her fame, her career, and her publicist turned that beauty into a beast.  Well, that is what her publicist called me anyway - The Beast.  I heard him screaming at her while I was waiting for her outside his office one day. "You can't be seen in public with that 'Beast'. He is just a fat, hairy artist, with no media appeal."  Beyounce, my "B" was a really special someone.  We shared great times talking and just listening to music. Later . . .

I will not get into the details of that though.  The John Dog is a gentleman.  We spent our evenings listening to some old skool funk - James Brown, Bootsy, and lots of sax by Maceo.  We drank fine red wine and soaked in the sweet night air on the deck of my Miami house boat.  I had a bad ass burgundy hat that was really sharp.  Lots of hip-hop artists are sporting the same brim now. Beyonce and I finally had a big blow up about "everything" and we split.  I didn't realize at the time that it was for good, but later I found that my hat was missing and I knew.